THE FINAL - WELL DONE SMITHY!!

1) Smithy - 359 - (played 14)
2) Woodsy - 355 - (played 16)
3) Big Boy - 353 - (played 19)
4) Lindsay - 351 - (played 16)
5) Jim - 350 - (played 13)
6) Verve - 348 - (played 17)
7) Boz - 344 - (played 16)
8) Moby - 342 - (played 19)
9) Jenks - 324 - (played 10)
10) Big Ron - 319 - (played 12)
11) Stu - 305 - (played 10)
12) Chalky - 289 - (played 9)
13) Rosy - 285 - (played 12)
14) Captain - 281 - (played 10)
15) Nigel - 278 - (played 9)
16) Socks - 15 - (played 5)
17) Gary - 91 - (played 3)
18) Perry - 32 - (played 1)

Best points score (41) - Smithy, Verve, Chalky

Lowest gross round (+3) - Big Boy, Smithy

Wooden Spoon (after 10 rounds) - Captain

Most rounds below handicap (x4) - Moby

By Woodsy (the nearly man)

So it was time for the finale of the 23 week battle, Woodsy sitting on top in hot pursuit by Slippery Jim, Big Boy and Smithy.

Woodsy saw fit earlier in the day of the impending battle to enquire as to the status of a certain Slippery Jim to ascertain if in fact the correct score and playing handicap were in line with the rules and of course the management.

Suspicions were confirmed and a 2 shot cut was implemented without delay. This of course created a taller order for the Slippery customer and complaints were noted throughout the day and continued to the 3.15pm tee off.

Tee off was at 3.15 as planned, but of course some warriors were delayed by other distractions. The balls were thrown initially by Woodsy who clearly didn’t have the necessary skills for such a task and an immediate re-throw was requested. All four at the top were separated but then due to more stragglers turning up another re-throw was requested and slippery found himself teemed up in the first ‘3 ball’ along with the leader and closest challenger which only compound his depression.

An extremely laboured, moany and uneventful ‘walk’ ensued from Slippery tagging along to a head to head battle between Woodsy and Smithy, but in true grinding spirit Smithy emerged the victor with a superb 37 point round.

So Woodsy really now can confirm he is superior to the slippery Jim who fell from 3rd to 5th in the final standings as another superb 37 point round from (as big boy calls him) rags and sarnies that’s Lindsay to everybody else pipped him into in 4th place.

Well done Smithy not just for the golf but for organizing an extremely enjoyable summer event. For those that attended, the evening too turned out to be eventful as you would expect. I wonder if the Indian waiter who attempted his party act of balancing the full pint on his head was expecting the precision and accuracy of rosey with the missile he launched into his stomach, is that why we all had dodgey bellies the next day.

Bring on 2010!

Week 23 Prologue


In response to a few queries as to who’s where in the Curry Cup standings, here are the results up to and including week 21’s results
It’s now realistically a four horse race between the following suspects:
· Gunny “I can play off 12 all day long” Woods – which begs a question as to his handicap !?!
· Slippery “I just can’t be beaten by Woodsy, whatever it takes” Jim
· Big Boy “I’m not fussed if I win it AGAIN” Barny
· Smithers, The Grinder
Irrespective of the final week’s results, The Curry Cup has lived up to the pre-season billing and provided all with a degree of competition, banter, curry and most notably a good few beers
Beware The Akash, The Curry Cuppers are a coming !
See you on the tee at 3.15 pm on Friday to throw the balls up – no teeing off at another time when the weather’s better, with your usual group, in your little comfort zone ! - you’ll be DQ’d!

Smithers n Verve





Woodsy score - 355... To drop - 31... Playing off - 2 below h/c


Smithy 354 32 1 below club handicap
Big Boy 353 33 club handicap
Jim 352 32 2 below club handicap
Boz 344 31 club handicap
Lindsay 344 30 club handicap
Moby 340 31 club handicap
Verve 338 31 club handicap
Jenks 324 25 club handicap
Big Ron 319 27 1 below club handicap
Stu 305 26 club handicap
Chalky 289 None club handicap
Rosy 285 24 club handicap
Nigel 278 None club handicap
Captain 254 None club handicap
Socks 118 None club handicap
Gary 91 None club handicap
Perry 32 None club handicap

Wk 22

By Smithy

It's all getting a bit tense.

Despite claims to the contrary last week, Gunny Woods decides to participate in the competition, no doubt spurred on by Jimmy’s spiteful comments previously.

Gunny therefore opts to run Jim and Linz round the course early in the morning at break neck speed in an attempt to firstly catch a flight and secondly to break Jimmy’s spirit.

It proves to be an inspired decision, not least of all because the best of the weather is seen in the morning.

With “great vengeance and furious anger” Woodsy cards a 36 pointer, compared to Jimmy’s 33, and leaps to the top of the curry cup standings by a single point.

Jimmy subsequently requests a stewards enquiry into Gunny’s bad sportsmanship for such tactics, albeit that this is swiftly rebuffed by 'The Management'.

Later that day, seven more intrepid Curry Cuppers venture onto the course in gusty conditions to see if they can cut Woodsy’s lead to make the final week that little bit more interesting.

The Captain makes a welcome return to the stage with an excellent 36 pointer and all stay for a session in the spike bar, which The Captain and Big Ron follow up by smashing down a Kebab on the way home.

Chief mover and shaker on the day is Smithers, who edges into contention for the final week, albeit suffering a one shot cut to do so.

The top four boys with a week to go are only separated by three points, so it’s all to play for in week 23.

Woodsy remains the hot favourite, however, as he leads into the last week and also has the lowest score to drop. And clearly he is a man possessed in his attempt to beat Jimmy.

Week 23 sees a  3.15 meet to throw the balls up, followed by beer and a curry at The Akash at 9 pm

Who will take the coveted trophy...?

Wk 21

By Smithy

Week 21 sees another good turnout despite windy conditions again, albeit that Verve is forced into abandoning his round early to ensure he’s on time to go out with the missus.

There is much debate on the patio afterwards as to what occasion warrants Verve to break his Friday night rule of only beering with the boys.

Meanwhile Woodsy is seen “sprinting” towards the car park having had a call from Mercedes to advise him that they are outside his house to drop off his latest “repmobile” – apparently he is only too pleased to be rid of the low quality £40K courtesy car they have “saddled” him with. 

Questions are raised as to the penalty for having his mobile switched on during play, although subsequent events result in Woodsy missing out a few holes and carding a 29 pointer.

Top scorers on the day are Smithers (who’s gym work during the week proves fruitful to enable him to battle the elements more effectively this time out) and Linz, who merely passes comment on the “light breeze” being no more than a minor irritation to his huge frame. Both card a respectable 36 points.

Chief mover and shaker on the day is Slippery Jim with 35 points off 12, who jumps a massive 8 points up the leaderboard to now take up position right up behind Big Boy Barny (answers on a postcard please) in a givers second place.

Top boys overall are Big Boy Barny on 352, Slippery Jim on 350 and Woodsy on 349

With all to play for in the remaining two weeks of competition,  Woodsy confirms his absence for next week’s round, handing a further advantage to Slippery Jim in his quest to vanquish his arch enemy in the Curry Cup tables – Jimmy is heard to mutter under his breath that it wouldn’t matter if Woodsy were playing for another six weeks, as he clearly just doesn’t have the talent to beat him!

Linz remains as the chancer’s outside bet, although in true grinders style, Smithers cannot be totally discounted, as he waits in the wings should any of the top boys falter in the run in.

Wk 20

By Smithy

As the competition moves into its final phase, a good turnout is seen as 12 intrepid Curry Cuppers venture out to play in high winds.

Smithers battles bravely against the elements, but struggles with his tiny frame against the onslaught from mother nature

Woodsy stands strong to card an exceptional 38 points to propel himself into second place in the Curry Cup, three points behind Big Boy Barny

A notable effort is made by Slippery Jim, who cards a 37 pointer to move himself right into contention, his second cut in a couple of weeks. With a 27 pointer to drop and three weeks to go, Slippery is still on target for his main aim to beat Woodsy and revel in the bragging rights associated therewith. He confesses that to win the Curry Cup would just be a bonus, but to beat Woodsy is essential to re-iterate his belief that he is a far superior golfer !

Both now take a two shot cut into the final three weeks of the competition, playing off 14 and 12

Lindsay still remains an outside bet if he can post some good scores in the last week as he has two 29 point scores that he can drop

Boz crumbles to post a lowly 28 points following a three week break for holiday, but remains in with a slim chance if he can raise his game for the run in

The curry night at the Akash on 18 September is now booked, with it looking like 12 in attendance

For those attending the curry the cost is £20. For those who are not, the cost is £5 for prizes.

Wk 19

By Smithy

With week 19 completed, there’s everything to play for in the final four weeks of curry cup competition

Big Boy Barney remains out front, with a 9 point lead, although careful consideration of the scores indicates that there a few who, if they post a good score in the remaining 4 weeks, could rise to the top

Notables are Woodsy and Lindsay, who have 28/30 and 29/29 pointers to drop and have been on form in recent weeks

There has been some discussion regarding the possibility of sandbagging by Lindsay, who has had three 36 pointers on the spin in the last 3 weeks

Wild card is clearly Chalky “Party Boy” White who has a 23 and a 27 pointer to drop, albeit there is some doubt as to whether he will post enough scores to enable him to do this. When added to his incredibly high handicap, he could be a danger to Big Boy retaining the coveted trophy if he makes a final push in the remaining weeks

As a reminder, presentation night is on the 18^th September (the final day of play) and is booked for 9 pm at The Akash Indian in Benfleet – we need to confirm numbers, so can you all let Smithers know whether you can make it ASAP

Cost will be £20 - £15 for the curry (food only) and £5 towards a few prizes – please let Smithers have payment straight away

For those of you not attending the curry, the cost will be £5

Smithy  - best 10 scores: 343

Verve  - best 10 scores: 337

Boz  - best 10 scores: 342

Nigel - best 10 scores: 247

Socks - best 10 scores: 118

Woodsy - best 10 scores: 339

Lindsay - best 10 scores: 333

Perry - best 10 scores: 32

Gary Bromage - best 10 scores: 91

Moby - best 10 scores: 340

Stu - best 10 scores: 305

Big Boy - best 10 scores: 352

Chalky White - best 10 scores: 257

Jenks - best 10 scores: 261

Rosy - best 10 scores: 255

Captain - best 10 scores: 196

Big Ron - best 10 scores: 246

Jim Johnson - best 10 scores: 305