Wk 7

A strange day. We cooked in the day sun, froze on the patio (partly in the shade).

Mobester, having returned from the Caribbean went blue.

Points tally after 7 weeks with 16 left to play is:

Verve 236 (played 7) avg 33.71
Moby 185 (played 6) avg 30.83
Big Boy 165 (played 5) avg 33
Jenks 164 (played 5) avg 33
Boz 164 (played 5) avg 32.80
Rosy 134 (played 5) avg 27
Woodsy 149 (played 5) avg 29.8
Stu 147 (played 5) avg 29.5
Smithy 101 (played 3) avg 33.67
Jim 98 (played 3) avg 32.67
Chalky 100 (played 3) avg 33.5
Captain 89 (played 3) avg 29.5
Linz 116 (played 4) avg 29
Gary 64 (played 2) avg 32
Nigel 59 (played 2) avg 29.5
Socks 57 (played 2) avg 28.5
Big Ron 29 (played 1) avg 29

Wk 6

Some of the golf was worryingly bad in what continues to be one of the best spring seasons of recent years, in terms of sunshine.

Pix by Jenks
Bozzo battles his way to 31

Boz (snapped here by Jenks, in the trees), Socks, Verve, Woodsy and Chalky were among the bottom feeders.

Jim hit a very respectable 35, while Big Boy rates a mention (still off 5) for his battling 33.

Jenks was the top performer with an outstanding 37. His scores for the last three weeks are 36, 35, 37.

Plans for a major curry night session faded when organiser Pete Boston confirmed he forgot to tell Lee. Lee got upset, Boz got very drunk, and good fun was had by all as he was helped down to the Hoy by Big Boy, Stu and Verve.

Verve moves further into the lead due to the fact that he has rather sadly played in every game thus far. Even his nearest rival, the Mobester, chose to stay away for a whole week.

The rest is in the week's scores:

Jenks 37

Jim 35

Big Boy 33

Boz 31

Verve 31

Rosy 30

Linz 30

Woodsy 27

Chalky 27

Socks 25

Wk 5

Anyone seen the Mobester?

By Smithers and Verve

THE COMPETITION is in full swing.

In a blatant and quite unashamed way (not, one might add, out of character), Mr Jenkins manages to blob the 18th hole realising that he is standing on the tee with a respectable 35 points already in the bag and staring down the barrel of a cut for three weeks should he continue the run of steady pars made over the back nine thus far.

His play was so outrageously blatant, commencing with a complete and quite frankly obvious pull into the bush left, followed by a left handed stab out, a pathetically weak chip shot coming up short, leaving a nasty downhiller that only God could have sunk.

The result – a missed putt, a blob on 18, 35 points and no Curry Cup cut.

As an indication as to just how bad this caddish behaviour was, Mr Jenkins was subsequently seen purchasing a round at the bar out of pure embarrassment (no really, there are four witnesses to this quite momentous event!) and for the benefit of Mr Woods, this was out of his own money, not borrowed funds !

The Committee is currently considering whether some form of punishment is warranted for such behaviour, but to date no contact has been possible with Mr Jenkins who is apparently undergoing psychiatric evaluation following persistent dizzy spells resulting from the trauma of having to open his wallet.

We understand that Mr White (only 37 points this week), who suffers from a similar affliction, has been keeping vigil by his bedside as a kindred spirit.

As for the rest, Mobey's remarkable 37 must go down as one of the truly great rounds of the year.

The Mobester was so overcome with emotion - realising his medal round score had reinstated his single figure handicapper status - he was last seen heading for an plane, destination the Caribbean.

That boy sure knows how to celebrate. See you in a week Dave. Luv to Stacy.

Smithy meanwhile overlooked to mention he scored a Joker in the pack, 36. We're watching Smithers. Do the words Michael+Martin+Speaker mean anything to you?

The Verve still leads. The rest is in the results:

Mobey 37
Chalky 37
Smithers 36
Jenks 35
Captain 32
Socks 32
Boz 31
Nigel 31
Verve 30
Big Boy 30
Stu 29

Wk 4

The sun's still shining. Greens are slowing up with more growth and the fairways are getting harder.

This was probably the toughest playing day to date with a three club wind ripping up 2, 4 and 6.

A near full turnout after Barney and Nige returned victorious from their away matches.

Barney enjoyed some post Portugal trauma after catching a bout of the shits (sorry, I meant shanks) from our friends in the Med'. He was seen running from the course on Sunday mid way through a competition. A lengthy beer and bar-b-q session seemed to work wonders. Normal service had resumed come the Curry Cup Wk 4 when he posted a best of the day 38 points and three week cut to 5. Welcome back Barney.

A stewards is ongoing after Slippery Jim blobbed the last on 36 points. Mobey stayed behind to request a full enquiry, which is likely to result in a warning. Slippery could get one too.

Mr White took time out of his Curry conquest to demolish Tom Ward in the Turner Cup. Ward was heard muttering something about 'dingoes' as the pair were called through on 14. Mr White hopes to return next week if he is not away on his monthly summer hols.

A final mention for Jenks, who after some excellent work in the nets this year recorded a respectable 36 points (bring on the Kindred).

The rest of the story is the scores:

Barney 38
Slippery 36
Jenks 36
Verve 34
Brommage 34
Stu 30
Boz 29
Woodsy 28
Mobey 27
Rosy 24

The full points tally after 4 weeks with 12 left to play is:


Verve 139 (played 4)
Moby 122 (played 4)
Stu 118 (played 4)
Woodsy 92 (played 3)
Rosy 77 (played 3)
Big Boy 72 (played 2)
Boz 67 (played 2)
Smithy 65 (played 2)
Gary Brommage 64 (played 2)
Jenks 61 (played 2)
Lindsay 58 (played 2)
Captain 57 (played 2)
Jim Johnson 36 (played 1)
Chalky White 36 (played 1)
Big Ron 29 (played 1)
Nigel 28 (played 1)
Socks 0
Perry 0

Wk 3

Week three was remarkable for two reasons. The sun is still shining and Mr White only scored 36 points on his first entry into the 2009 season.

Other than that Friday May 1 was uneventful. Only four players took part because Barney is still ripping up the courses in Portugal, while Smithers and Nige attempt to steal the prize fund in Wales on a boys long weekend.

The Curry scores were as follows:

Chalky White 36
Verve 35

Mobey 31
Stu 29